GUD BLOG: SINGLE POST
8 Black Friday Tips and Strategies
The competition among Black Friday bargains is expected to be brutal this year, with as many as 138 million shoppers trolling for deals that day. Gourmet Underground Detroit has come up with the following tips and strategies that will help you navigate the start of the holiday shopping season like a pro.
- Stay home and assemble a jigsaw puzzle while drinking whiskey.
- Stay home and cook a nice meal while drinking whiskey. Try to find a way to use whiskey in at least one of the dishes you are preparing. It looks better that way.
- Stay home and read a book about whiskey while drinking whiskey.
- Stay home and download hilarious and disturbing videos of people stepping on each other in order to buy things while you drink whiskey from the comfort of your sofa.
- Stay home and knit whiskey bottle cozies for holiday gifts while drinking whiskey. Careful, those needles can be pokey.
- Stay home and invite your friends over to drink whiskey. Make sure you tell them to bring some whiskey. (Pro tip: call this a “whiskey tasting”. It gives it an air of legitimacy.)
- Stay home and assemble a small distillation apparatus, preferably constructed with copper. Ferment a bit of corn, wheat, barley, or a combination of the three. Run this fermented wash through your shiny new distillation apparatus. Age resulting spirit in wood barrels. (We recommend that you drink whiskey during this process. But please avoid open flames while drinking whiskey.)
- Set your alarm for 3:30 a.m. Layer your clothing in case of frigid temperatures. Get in your car. Get out of your car. Stay home and drink whiskey.
Happy Thanksgiving!
2011.11.23 Todd Abrams at 3:02 pm
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2 Responses to 8 Black Friday Tips and Strategies
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It’s wonedrufl to have you on our side, haha!